1) April has what I believe to be an addiction to heinous dance music. Lots and lots of heinous dance music. For the past week, I've been copying all of our cds onto an external hard drive so that we can get rid of the actual cds and have the music ready for our Ipods. It took me four days to get through her dance discs. Did you know Disney put out a cd with dance remixes of all their classics? Should be a staple in all households. As should the School House Rocks dance mix and your favorite techno-Luau tunes (my ears are still bleeding).
2) Yesterday, one of our conversations turned to butterflies again. You remember how the last conversation we had about a butterfly led April to explain why she's an advanced soul, right? This conversation went something like this:
Apes: "I saw a gorgeous butterfly the other day..."
Me: "Uh-huh. That's great, honey..."
Apes: "It was really beautiful (long pause)...unfortunately (really long pause)....
it was dead."
Me: silent.
How very advanced soul of it.
3) I have been procrastinating like nobodies business. I am overwhelmed by a work project and don't know which end is up. I deal with that feeling of discomfort by choosing to ignore it all together. Much like opening the refrigerator door a million times, hoping a chocolate cake will materialize, I open a Word document only to see it still blank. I close the document and tell myself I'll check again later to see if there's been any progress.
4) Brenda Lee is outside my window this very second. She has a new dress. I wonder how many quarters she's found today.
5) I've been thinking a lot about my next job and I've decided I need to be hired as another of Kathy Griffin's assistants. It feels right. That's all I can really say. Somehow I just know it should happen. Something tells me she'd totally dig the fact that I'd kiss her dogs Chance and Pom Pom on the teeth.
6) I still want to hear OJ Simpson admit he murdered Nicole and Ron. I don't know why it matters so much to me, but whenever I see him, I picture that smug smile he wore when he heard the 'not guilty' verdict and it burns my ass.
7) It's supposed to storm later tonight. I love a good storm. I turn off the light in my office, work by the glow of my favorite lamp and I light several candles. My office turns into a cocoon I never want to step out of.
and finally, here is evidence of our Brush with Death:
All of that brush came from our back yard. April, armed with a weed eater and a saw, went to battle with the overgrown bits that were trying to strangle our house. That's Leigh on the left and her son Brett who appears to be being beheaded by brush.
They came to visit us for the day. Silly them. We have zero regard for the health of our friends and certainly don't concern ourselves with showing them a good time. We have shit to do. Like haul brush to the dump....
We aren't heartless, though. We gave them water and everything.
9 comments:
I think you and I should replace Tiffany and Jessica as Kathy's assistants. Our lives would be way more entertaining and give Kathy way more material for her comedy act and reality show. Plus, I really want to hang out with Tom and drink lots of wine with Kathy's mom. ;)
p.s. we should totally compare what is on our "Now playing" lists on our respective tivos. I have a feeling there are many overlaps...
i LLLLLLOVE "My Life on the D-List"....omg but if you get the gig, I WANT to meet Steve (even though they are "just friends" now.....)
We should start a club..."Procrastinators R US"
Debra: Absolutely. We'd be way funnier. And I'm with you on wanting to hang out with her mom and Tom. Her mom makes me cry. I loved on a recent episode when Kathy told her mom: "you know, you can't steal my gay!" My Tivo = every combination of Law and Order and I'm newly addicted to Without a Trace and Cold Case. I have a serious issue that needs to be dealt with.
Miss scarlett: i question whether they were REALLY anything other than friends. When they were supposedly "dating" they had negative chemistry. Zip. But that's neither here nor there...when I get the job, I'll make sure you meet Tom :) I think we should vote for club officers....later, of course....
Really like your 'brush-buggy' and been thinking of getting one myself. We hauled 3 truckloads of brush Saturday cleaning up our backyard. What a PAIN INNA BUTT!! If the woods out back weren't tinder dry I'd have burned it I think:)
Be careful with that external hard drive! I had EVERYTHING on one and it died within 6 months. Starting making a clicking noise. I lost it all. As I researched it on the internet, turns out it is not at all uncommon. You think you are so secure and have a feeling of organization and simplification... and that you can get rid of the original files... but I wouldn't do it. I was told, "it was not meant to be used "as a storage device." Umm?????? Then what is it for? Backup. That was my answer.
Mike: I seriously was having heart palpitations as we drove to the dump. I just knew all of that brush was going to fly off the back of the Jeep. I made April go two miles an hour. I'm fairly certain we made enemies out of everyone who happened to be stuck behind us yesterday....
Kimberly: SHUT UP! What do they mean it's not supposed to be a backup device?! That's not cool. What's the best solution as far as backing up information, then? I thought you had to back up externally - because if your hard drive goes out, you can't get tot he information. I'm a complete doofus when it comes to these things, though...so I have no real idea what I'm talking about....
I'm waiting for that chocolate cake to materialize too!
I read the old post about Brenda Lee that you linked to. Made me want to cry. What a wonderful person you've found, Heather.
Honest Ape: She's a good egg. Makes me smile every time I see her so happy, hunting our street for change. Reminds me that I create what makes me happy and that I control my expectations. She's been good for me, that's for sure :)
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