Painting every wall in our house has truly been cathartic for me.
The more I brush new paint over scuff marks, nicks and nail holes, the more I think about how symbolic it is.
About how many times I've covered up my own scuff marks and nicks in an attempt to hide what I perceive to be imperfections...I haven't covered myself in sand colored paint (purposefully), but I have used things like diets, hair cuts, material goods and a make-believe tough exterior to pretend I don't hurt at times.
No matter how many coats of paint I put on my walls, those imperfections are always going to be part of my house's history.
My challenge is learning to embrace those nicks, to see them as something that adds to my character instead of takes away from it.
Without those walls, my house would crumble.
And I like living indoors.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Nicks and Nail Holes.
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18 comments:
I used to have this idea of claiming my apartment as my own by lying on my back on the floor of every room, just looking up. I know, I'm weird that way. I just wanted to look at the place like no one had before, from a different perspective. Literally.
I know there's something symbolic about that too. I wonder how that works... Tee-hee ;)
Beautiful metaphor.
I face those challenges every day.
you're making your mark on the house.. it's way better than how 'em dogs do it. (Now don't you dare try Heather!... ewww... )
Anyway.. forgot to tell you..
you sound a little like Ellen (degeneres that is).. but perhaps that's your morning croak that has yet to be warmed.
Your post today reminded of that movie "If These Walls Could Talk (2)" and although the movie has nothing to do with home-renovating, it's about lesbians, and you're a lesbian. And I image if those lesbians had holes in their walls, they would try to paint over them too. And if YOUR walls could talk, they would say, "Thanks for the face-lift, I feel 100 years younger, but you and I both know my original character will never change". Yup, that's my story. You cannot blame me for the badness of it, it's a Monday.
Marloff: I really love that idea. Very cool. I just might try it :)
Arial Ray: Thank you. I think we all fight to cover up something... learning to love ourselves COMPLETELY is a hard thing to do. But worth the effort!
Lynnette: I just had a visual that wasn't pretty...thank you very much! As far as sounding like Ellen, my first thought was....I wish my bank account looked like hers.... Honest to God...that was my first thought after reading your comment :)
Renee: I'm a lesbian? WHAT? I, uh, wow. So much to consider here.... :)
I know I need to learn to embrace some of the scars and nicks in my life. Those nicks help make us who we are.
wow, did renee open your eyes? haha
I wish your walls could talk and tell some tales on you... poor April!
Would your closet yell at you too, for not hanging up your clothes?
Love ya!
So, they are not REALLY imperfections.
My house is almost 100 years old.
The second floor office has cracks that are literally an inch deep as a result of being battered by an ancient tree.
No attempt to HEAL those cracks would ever be successful.
I figure that they belong there.
Some things just ARE.
wow. when i paint i just think about how badly my neck/arms hurt.
Ang: Yeppers. The most certainly do.
j24: uh huh. She'd totally love to take credit for that :)
fiesty: I just took a moment and gave thanks that my walls can't speak....
m.m. sugar: Cracks that deep most certainly deserve to be there and the rest of the house has clearly learned to embrace them. That's the lesson for me :)
lynt: clearly I've moved past the aching muscles portion of the program and into delirium....
Oh My god. This post was fucking awesome. Excuse my language. Your use of symbolism, was most excellent. And you even added humor to how deep this was. truly amazed.
THANK YOU FOR THIS.
Its time for me to embrace my nicks.
Meleah: YES YES YES....it's time we all embrace our nicks. I saw we make a pact to do it together :)
While you were busy painting your house, I got to work painting your blog.
As you can see, there is a reason I'm not a home designer...
I hope you enjoy meddling with all the new features I added to your blog!
Come to think of it, I decorated an outhouse once when I was a kid. I think you should be happy I used a different overall theme this time around... ;)
Brian: THANK YOU! I'd totally marry you if, well, you know....I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the help you've given me. My blog layout is Awesome! I love it :)
ya know... i have this similar feeling about car. my car is ten years old - and its got alot of dings and scratches, and while i tend to be a bit neurotic about keeping things in good condition... the way i figure it the car is a lot like me, kinda dinged and dented but still runs great.
I've found the state of my 'space' whether it was my bedroom growing up, or my own house, is always a reflection of my mental state. I'm sure your uber smart girlfriend has already pointed that out though in that oh so intuitive therapist way.
I'm taking all your recent improvements as a sign that all is well in your lives, in every way possible. Especially if you guys can survive so many remodels, we almost kill each other even when we have directions! :)
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