Baby Morphing.

One of the (many) highlights of the baby shower Laura and I threw for Suzi and Sarat last weekend came in the form of a baby.

Shocking, I know.

But this baby wasn't the obvious baby...It had nothing to do with the kiddo growing in Suzi's adorable, expanded belly.

This baby freaked Suzi out a tad bit. She actually called it a "soul-less child."

Sounds harsh, but it's kinda true.

It was a fake kid.

Suzi and Sarat's fake kid.

A couple days before the shower, Laura called to tell me about a website she found that allows you to upload photos, morph them together and see what the baby might look like.

I was all over it.

Despite the fact their "pretend kid" freaked Suzi out, I was infatuated.

How many times have Apes and I wondered what our kid would look like?

How many hours have I spent wondering how procreating with Mariska Hargitay and Jennifer Nettles would turn out?

And I'll admit it...

Secretly, I've always suspected Brad Pitt and I would make babies JUST as pretty as those he's spawned with Angelina.

And now, after an hour spent morphing my photo with the images of a gaggle of celebrities, I can tell you I've been both pleasantly surprised and also apologetic.

Some of my "pretend babies" should have never happened.

Drum roll, please....

First up, Mariska Hargitay.



It's not what I'd hoped. I mean, I'd love the kid, but I admit to seeing the image and feeling robbed. Somehow, it's not at all what I expected. In fact, I question my genetic role all together. My lawyers are on it.



I just KNEW my offspring with Jennifer Nettles would turn things around.


How could our child NOT be perfect? Seriously. Apparently, the "fake child gods" have a sense of humor.

Behold, my love child with Jennifer:


Check out that unruly hair! He must get that from Jennifer's side of the family. All my kin have hair that behaves.

You know I had to find out how things would turn out if Barack Obama was my baby daddy...



I gotta say, she's kinda cute and I wouldn't mind at all if someone wanted to make a doll in her likeness. Assuming I received appropriate compensation, of course.



I've always thought Mark Consuelos, Kelly Ripa's husband, was bee-utiful.


I don't want to brag, but Kelly best be watching her back. My son with Mark is on FIRE.


It's no secret that Bette Midler is one of my all time favorite entertainers. In fact, my dream is to see her in Vegas before her last curtain call.


Thank goodness our baby doesn't have her nose. It better have her pipes...


Because I'd love for my kid to make some money, he/she needed an obvious talent. Enter, Tiger Woods.


I kinda wanna snuggle him (and his kid-sized golf club)


Of course, I had to account for a train wreck moment. What if I decided to "get with" Lindsay Lohan?


The results might surprise you. She's adorable. I just wouldn't let Lindsay feed her vodka bottles.


And yes, I DID morph myself with Brad Pitt.


I'm not going to sugar coat it. He's not leaving Angelina any time soon to make babies with me.



This kid is no Shiloh...

It didn't seem fair to morph with Brad and not Angelina...


Le Sigh...


WHY HOW COME OUR KID DOESN'T HAVE THE LIPS??!!! Nor does he look a thing like either of us. I had so much hope for this kid...

Given the outcome of these morphs, I was hesitant to upload April's photo.

What if it went bad wrong?

Could we live with it?

Turns out, yeah, we can.

It's only the cutest baby EVER!

Behold...



I know. You don't even have to say anything.

If you'd like to get in on the baby-making fun, click HERE.

Just use protection.