Multi-functional

At first glance, these may just LOOK like Diet Coke screw tops, but they aren't.

I've found yet ANOTHER use for the lids - aside from keeping yer drinks bubbly and collecting reward points.

Should you ever be too lazy to retrieve your contact case from your luggage, the lids make an excellent alternative.

Just add water and your eyeballs.

Genius.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Aponex

Oh this one is good, ya'll.

Just got off the phone with Apes. She was telling me about the monster softball game she played tonight.

Unfortunately, the team lost both games, despite her great at-bats and fielding.

"Seriously, honey," she said, "it was close, but no hand grenades."

NO HAND GRENADES?!

I snorted I laughed so hard.

"Close but no CIGAR, Apes. Cigar."

Bless her heart.

Problems Commenting?

My good pal Mike S just sent me an email...seems he's having trouble commenting on my blog.

Anyone else having an issue?

Email me at wishfulwriterblog@yahoo.com and let me know.

I'm going to work with blogger to try and resolve it. I'm getting some comments, so not sure why others aren't getting through.

Mike S - thanks for trying and for alerting me to the issue. Reading comments is my favorite part of blogging!

More later....

Clumsy Much?

My morning started off with a forehead burn.

I am now a firm believer that if you haven't used a curling iron in more than a year, you should be required to attend safety classes and wear goggles.

No exception.

My day of absent-mindedness didn't end with a forehead scab.

On my walk back to the hotel after work, I was so deep in thought I walked smack dab into a glass door.

Yes I did.

The guy walking behind me tried to make me feel better by saying:

"Hey, thanks for running into it before I did. I'm sure if you hadn't been in front of me, I'd have done the same thing."

"No sweat, I'm a giver," was all I could manage.

My scabbed, bruised forehead pretty much screams blind girl.

Awesome.

PS - Kelli, you are AMAZING. Thank you for the you-know-what.

Snaggle at night

Tonight's "good night, we miss you picture" from Apes and the critters.
Don't you wanna kiss those teeth?!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Completely Random Update

Sorry for being so M.I.A.

Work was nuts last week and when I did have time to write, I didn't really feel like I had anything of interest to report.

Which has never stopped me before, I know.

So with no cool, or touching, or hysterical stories to report, I'm relying on the "random update" standby.

ONE.

My friend Lesli and I saw the movie Whip It last night and while it's not likely to win any major awards, it's a fun chick flick and any fan of Ellen Page will overlook weak movie-moments just to watch her own Juliet Lewis's character, Maggie Mayhem, on the roller derby track.

Able to apply my basic knowledge of roller derby (thanks to Sarat and Suzi who've taken me to a few Big Easy Rollergirl bouts in New Orleans), I cheered as Bliss, Ellen's high school character, shoved and hip checked girls to earn "lead jammer" points.

What resonated most, though, for me, was the movie's mother-daughter story line. Bliss is a tom boy who tries time and time again to earn her mother's approval, even if it means not being true to herself. Bliss enters beauty pageants and tries to live the life her coiffed mother (played by Marcia Gay Harden) insists she live "for her own good". The two don't see eye to eye on anything, eventually causing Bliss to lie about what she loves (derby) and the life she's meant to live. The movie explores the pain Bliss and her mother experience, never losing site of the love they share, but not shying away from the pain judgment causes. Eventually Bliss's mother comes to terms with truly accepting and loving a daughter she couldn't be more opposite of.

I teared up.

TWO.

Before the movie, Lesli and I hit up the mall and she introduced me to a store I'm now infatuated with. It's called LUSH and they sell all manners of fun soaps, shower steamers ('member my infatuation with them!), skin care items and massage bars (that shimmer and smell yummy). We spent forever in the store, watching soap bubble demonstrations and getting mini-spa treatments.

I bought:

The Sunny Side bubble bar (you crack a little bit of this under running water and it creates a sparkling bubble bath).



I also bought, after watching a demonstration, The Big Blue Bath Bomb. If you drop this in the tub, after crumbling bits of Sunny Side bubble bar under the faucet, it makes a mermaid bath! Seriously - it's bright blue, foamy, sparkly water that's so soft and smells so good you'll never want to get out! I did it tonight and was sorry I only bought one Big Blue Bath Bomb!



I also bought a porridge soap bar (told you I went nuts). The web site describes it as: stuffed with real oats for an exfoliating scrub and fresh orange juice to invigorate sleepy heads, this sweet treat smells like molasses and makes skin deliciously soft.

It smells SO good. Haven't used it yet - waiting to unwrap it when I get home.



The store sells some great combination baskets - I'm thinking it might be a great idea to buy one, keep some stuff for myself and still get 2-3 other holiday gifts out of it!

...and nope, not getting paid a red cent by Lush to tell you how much I love their stuff.

THREE.

I'm kicking ASS in Fantasy Football this year! I've never even been in the play offs, so the fact my team is 6-0 rocks my socks. In an effort to keep my flawless record karmic-ally blessed, I've limited my trash talking which just might kill me before the season ends.

FOUR.

April is the best person on the planet. She knows how much I miss the critters when I travel, so she snaps pictures of our pups and sends them to me before bedtime.

FIVE.

Just a few weeks until Halloween weekend and I'm stoked! A huge group of us (about 20 gals) have rented four cabins and will spend the weekend being silly, roasting marshmallows and telling our best/worst ghost stories. I can't wait and guarantee lots and lots of photos!

My dinner just arrived. Off to eat my Bistro salad and raspberry gelato!

Workie Workie

I'm in Atlanta and running 'round for work.

Looks like we're gonna get drenched tomorrow - two inches of rain.

Awesome.

I've got a three block walk to the office.

Awesome.

Will post when I can - hope ya'll are having a good week!

Playin in the Punkin Patch!

It's that time of year again....

Hello, Belvedere Plantation Pumpkin Patch!

This year we acted the fool with our friends Karolyn and Lauren.

Of course...we have the pictures to prove it!





The crazy-ness started before we even entered. Shocking.




Apes, Karolyn, Lauren:




I love this slide. For some reason it felt faster this year!




I wasn't a fan of the pig races, so I took a picture of my feet instead...


You know how much we love the zip line!!







What started out as friendly fun in the barn turned into a semi-wrestling match between Karolyn and Apes.




Getting on the rope swing is never easy...


Big Kid. Me.


After Karolyn spun me in a million circles, I couldn't even walk...


She got Apes too! (what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't offer you another side-ways video?)


Awwww....


Apes is clearly very happy with her choice of pumpkins...


And the night ended as many of them do...with Apes "Heisman-ing" something she's holding...

WalMart Super Hero

..Only Apes can have this much fun shopping for groceries...

Just call her Web Slinger, protector of produce.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Introducing Weird Speak.

This morning I hit the mother-load of April weird speak.

Weird speak is what I call her language when it isn't quite Aponex (for new readers, Aponex is what we call April's inability to utter a common phrase without jacking it all up).

Weird speak happens when April's brain works faster than her mouth, resulting in a string of conversations that make sense only to her.

I swear on my favorite pink highlighter, this is exactly what happened and how our conversation went this morning...

We are sleeping downstairs on the pull-out couch because we sold our bedroom suit in last week's yard sale. At some point, we'll find and agree on a king-sized bed.

I woke up to April, out of bed, growling by the back door.

Then I smelled it.

"Ewwww," I yelled, rolling over and suffocating my face with the pillow.

"Your daughter pooped RIGHT by the back door! And it's runny. Oh, and she was trying to eat it."

GAG. GAG. GAG.

Rosie, the culprit, hopped up on the bed. April took notice, and said:

"Heather, don't lick her."

"Don't LICK her?! Really? Um, I won't LICK her. I do have boundaries."

Not in the mood to deal with my sarcasm (cleaning runny poop will tamper with your ability to handle me), Apes clarified.

"I MEANT don't let her lick YOU. I can't speak and clean at the same time."

Oh. Okay.

After Apes satisfactorily cleaned the floor with ever cleaner known to man, she got back in bed and asked what I wanted to do today before we head out for our annual PUMPKIN PATCH fun.

"Prolly should go to the grocery store," I mumbled - but only halfheartedly. I hate grocery shopping.

"Yeah, we should probably go before the giants do."

I let it register.

"Right. We should probably beat the giants to the grocery store. You know how they can get....what exactly does that MEAN, April?"

"I meant giant CROWDS. Crowds."

"You didn't say giant CROWDS. You said GIANTS."

"I know. But I MEANT crowds."

"Your brain works faster than your mouth sometimes."

"That's true. I mean, giants and crowds meant the same thing in my head. You know, giants I.K.E. crowds."

"A.K.A. crowds!!!!"

Dear Jesus. HELP ME.

We laughed at the ridiculousness of our morning exchange for a solid five minutes.

As it stands, I can't lick the dogs, we have to beat the giants to the grocery store and IKE is a special brand of crowds.

It's not even 9am....

Mommy's Home - VIDEO!

Captured it on film for ya'll!

Two Words.

Two words, spoken at 5 p.m. every day, make me absolutely giddy.

I watch the clock as the afternoon progresses, knowing exactly what will happen the moment I say those two words.

I can't help but grin in anticipation because I love the reaction I get when I say...those two words.

Every day, right before I say 'em, I inventory the dogs.

Yes, the dogs.

Jean Paul, the poodle Pope, is always sleeping on a chair next to me.

Snaggle, the stray snuggler, is usually perched on a cushion at my feet.

Rosie, the one-eyed wonder, is chilling on the couch, all four paws facing heaven.

Stewart, the big dawg, never shirks his duty and can be found keeping an eye on the living room.

I know exactly when to say it, because my office is at the front of the house.

The second I see the tires of the Jeep roll past my window, I say it.

"MOMMY'S HOME!"

Silence turns into chaos.

Every dog, from every direction, bolts to the front door, yipping, jumping and turning circles, waiting for Apes to open the front door.

It's like a game I win every day at 5pm.

One of these day's I'll film it!

Green Goodness...

Several of you left really touching comments on my last post and for some reason Blogger is holding them captive and won't let me publish.

Blogger reports they are aware of the issue with comment moderation and hope to fix it soon - I will post and respond to the comments as soon as they free 'em up.

Thank you for leaving them and for making my day. You all are the best!

So....

April went to the grocery store without me yesterday, which means she came home with a bunch of stuff I'd never ever buy.

Desperate for breakfast this morning (and not feeling cereal with vanilla soy milk), I grabbed one of the new fruit smoothies she bought.

Bolthouse Farms Green Goodness.



This smoothie has everything but the kitchen sink in it: apples, pineapple, green tea, spinach, barley grass, wheat grass, BLUE GREEN ALGAE, garlic, zinc mango, banana, folic acid, Vitamin A, B6, B12, C, kiwi fruit and a handful of other ingredients I'm too lazy to type.

April and I have been meaning to make one of these fruit/spinach smoothies ever since I read about them over on Jenna's blog.

However, I'm just lazy enough in my quest to get healthy that buying one of these smoothies instead of actually expending the energy to make one seems like a good plan.

Wasn't sure I was going to like it, but YUM.

It's so good and I'm certain I've lost weight already, just by lifting the beverage to my face.

The color of the smoothie is, well, it's pea green, but that just makes me feel like it's even healthier for me.

It can look like the color of spinach, it just can't TASTE like spinach. And it doesn't.



It tastes fruity and scrumptious and it washes down smoothly with a glass of Diet Coke (it doesn't need the Diet Coke, but I do....)

Oh - and I'm not being paid to advertise by Bolthouse Farms. If I was, I'da probably left out the "pea green color" bit....

Happy Sappy Note.

I had an "I really love my blogging friends" moment this morning and I want to share it with you.

When I started this blog a few years ago, I truly didn't think anyone other than my close friends and family would read it.

I didn't know the first thing about blogging, stumbling, digging, feeds, blog catalog, or link backs.

All I knew is I wanted to write. Every day.

The blog would be a way to keep people up to date about our goings-on (I'm not a big fan of the phone) and it would force me to hone my writing skills and develop a cadence to my style.

I knew I wanted to write as I speak. Have my friends read a post and say, "I could HEAR you saying that!"

My blog started slowly, every once in a while a new reader would leave a comment.

Suddenly, I realized just how cool this blogging thing could be.

I began reading more blogs, leaving my own comments, making friends.

Making AWESOME friends.

I remember, in my first year of blogging, I'd check my SiteMeter for statistics, anxious to see how many people hit my blog in a day.

I felt on top of the world one July night in 2007...my blog hit 39 views by midnight.

For blogs that routinely get hundreds of thousands of hits a day, 39 views is laughable, I know.

But for me, it was huge.

I don't have a blog with a niche. I don't have readers coming to get nutrition advice (unless they want a bad example), I'm not spouting technical facts or having contests.

Those 39 people were checking in on me, to see what kind of day I had, or to find out if Apes said something ridiculous (again).

They were more than views, they were friends.

Still are.

This morning I checked my SiteMeter at 10am and I'd already had 59 views.

59 people checking in on my day before it even got started.

I know it sounds silly, but it kind of made me happy weepy.

It's not about numbers to me. It is about friends.

Thank you for being my friend.

For caring about my day.

For coming back even when I don't post every day.

It means a whole big bunch to me.

Honestly. It really does.

And because I know how much you care, I know you'll be delighted to learn I'm UNDEFEATED in my Fantasy Football league.

That's right.

UNDEFEATED.

Life is good. Thanks for sharing mine.

Today's Aponex

We're over at Carrie and Lanie's house (the FACE SMASHER team if you're in our Fantasy Football league), and Kat n' Apes are in a serious discussion about the Washington Redskins.

Overheard from my comfy leather lounge chair:

Apes: "I think Daniel Snyder, the Redskin's owner, is a jerk. There is NO WAY in JOSE that I'd ever coach for the man if I were a coach."

Kat, as she often does, let it pass.

I, as I always do, called Apes on it.

"No way JOSE, Apes. Not...'no way IN Jose'...."

Cue eye rolls from me and a big dimply laugh from Apes.

She may not know her common phrases, but she does know football.

This morning, prior to the cutoff time for Fantasy Football changes, Apes looked like a sports agent, all comfy in my office swivel chair, her feet on the desk, phone propped to her ear, wheeling and dealing, making trades and promising results.

I swear I heard her offer a "money back guarantee."

Football is her language of choice. No question.

Yippeee Yard Sale

We've been up since 4am...we aren't playing with this yard sale...we set up a room full of fruniture and plan on making a cool million...or at the very least, a quarter.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

A Dog's Life.

Um, I'm not saying Rosie is the laziest damn dog on the planet, but this is how I found her a few minutes ago...



What's that? You want a closer look at LAZY?

Sure.



However, I will concede that this position shows off her lovely feet which are so fuzzy we lovingly refer to them as "bedroom slippers."

There is that....

Oh...and I'll probably go to Hell for making fun of my one-eyed dog. I'm aware.

Changing it UP!

For YEARS I've wanted to do something different with my hair.

I've just been too chicken.

BWAK. BWAK. *flaps arms*

Before my previous appointments, I'd flip through magazines, cut out pictures of the cut or color I wanted to experiment with and full of purpose, swagger into the salon.

Within seconds of my stylist getting ready to make me into a "new woman," I've always applied the brakes, deciding I'd rather be sure of my hair-do versus unpleasantly surprised if I hated it.

Not this time.

Yesterday I put my big girl pants on and decided to go for it.

I've always wanted to try being brunette.

It's Fall.

It's fun.

It's only hair.

Here's my before photo, proving a cut and some sort of color was LONG overdue:



Here's thew new, brunette me!



I'm still getting used to my own reflection, but I really love it!

Total gold star for Dana, my hairdresser.

She might have been more nervous than I was!